Nina:
Anyone who's been reading our posts long enough knows that I've done some pretty outrageous things since coming of age.
More often than not, alcohol was involved.
Sometimes I wanted to do something and had a few shots to help me get over the nerves.
They say that alcohol doesn't make you do things you don't want to do. It just lowers your inhibitions about doing them.
It might be something simple,like asking a stranger to dance (yes, I use to be shy about approaching men) or taking my top off in public.
Other times there were things I did that I might have wanted to do but wouldn't if I hadn't been drinking, like the first time I had a threeway or giving a BJ to a guy in a bar bathroom.
I've never blamed the alcohol for my actions.
I'm not talking about passed out drunk and some guy(s) take you into an alley.

I'm not blaming the victim.
I'm just wondering how much liquid courage is too much.
I can't be the only one who's had a few prior to letting my freak fly.

 

In Utah it was 0.o5 which was ridiculous.

 

I find different alcohol gives different moods Nina.........but champagne or margaritas seem most effective!

thinskin

 

When a responsible bar will not serve you another?

 

When they do that, it's not because they care, they just don't want to be sued if you get into a car wreck on the way home.
Also, what if you're just hanging out with friends and not in a bar.
I know a lot of women who've thought that skinny dipping at a back yard party was a good idea AFTER they had a few drinks.
I know married people who cheated on their spouses after having a few too many.
They probably wanted to have sex with that other person but never would have if they hadn't been drinking. They probably weren't over the legal limit. Just enough to take the edge off.

 

I play with a partner that was a fundamental part of the Toronto BDSM scene from 30 years ago right through until now. Like, planner of the big parties, head DM, interviewed on the TV show Kink, that sort of thing. He knows his stuff, and is very widely known in the community.

According to him, thirty years ago almost every larger scale party was held in a bar. The event workers were paid with drink tickets. Drinking was an integral part of the whole evening.

Now, it’s almost impossible to find a BDSM play party that even allows alcohol, never mind serves it. If you show up having pregamed you might not be allowed in. Consent is huge in the BDSM culture, obviously, and the consumption of alcohol clouds that issue entirely. It’s just safer for everyone if sobriety is standard.

Private parties are a different thing, of course, but even then, drinking is really rare.

Personally, I’d love to be able to have a glass of wine or two at the club before I play, just a social thing with my friends, plus I think it’d be nice to get a little glow on before heading out on the play floor. But I get why we don’t do that any more.

There’s no question that not only reflexes are affected by alcohol consumption; decisionmaking acuity is, as well.

It’s an excellent question, Nina, but I don’t have a good answer. I think ‘too much’ is determined by how deeply you wince later, thinking about the situation. And of course then it’s too late.

 

The moment you have to ask the question.

 

Wow, I wish I knew!! Lol more often than not I was under the influence though....

 

Alcohol has not made me do anything, but definitely gave me a nudge or two in different a direction. Few one nighters in my early years that would not have happened if sober. Mostly regretful decisions in my experience. I don't pass in to that zone without quite a few stiff drinks. Alcohol affects everyone differently. I've seen my ex girlfriend's mom go from straight laced Mormon to full on anything goes mode with just two wine coolers.

 

Simple biology, your liver can possess 1 oz of alcohol an hour, there was a study from years ago that found that 2 oz's was enough for memory and function to have a positive effect.

-So 2 beer or 2 oz's hard alcohol then a glass of water in the first hour.
-1 beer or 1 oz fallowed by a glass of water to maintain every fallowing hour.

 

Thanks now I remember why I hated chemistry in high school.

 

Let me pose this question:
Have you ever been drunk and sent a nude/semi-nude picture or sex related text to someone you wouldn't have if you were stone cold sober.

 

I don't send nudes unless asked. Getting one from a female is like a nice surprise. Getting a random dick pic seems like it would just be like kinda shocking. We just aren't as aesthetically pleasing down there.

I have definitely sent a few messages that I regretted the next morning. Like someone I recently dated and liked me a lot more than I liked her. Wake up like damn I thought I had already gotten out of that without hurting anyone's feelings. Then about two minutes later you get the text:
"Good morning baby!"
Alcohol is a fun sidekick once in a while, but always a bad friend.

 

I've done things I usually wouldnt do after a few shots of tequila

 

When you hit the guardrail with your fancy car.....fingers crossed, wise decisions to all!!

 

I can’t regret it if I don’t remember it.

 

In the threesomes we had both of us never had any alcohol. Neither in any of the more adventurous sex that I had elsewhere. But then I'm not a drinker. By the time alcohol starts to becloud my mind, I get nauseous so I have no desire for sex anymore.

 

I have done more with a drink or two than without any alcohol at all. It's not that I would not have done anything without drinking but it seems to loosen the gears. I don't blame any action on alcohol I know full well what I am doing just sometimes it's more fun when you don't over think things.

 

I guess it depends on if that 'dutch courage' puts you specifically in danger.

Everyone reacts diferently when it comes to alcohol so how much is too much is going to be very individual.

I think taking some 'dutch courage' is fine if you know what you are doing and the decision is a sober one. The problem is when you loose control of what is happening or what could happen through alcohol

I have never felt the need to take a drink before any sexual act but I have had drunken sex and I am aware of the danger a woman can put herself in that situation.

 

It's an individual's choice to use social lubricants and only you can decide how far is too far? I only ask that they take the same responsibility I have to when we're both drinking or smoking weed. If you are regularly using drugs and alcohol for bravery to go further then there is a personal issue you must look at seriously. Don't be surprised or ready to charge someone with a crime when hindsight was you could have chose just as much to "not got high" as well? I don't know your limits and I am neither my brother or sister's keeper once you are a grown up!