1. Hello,


    New users on the forum won't be able to send PM untill certain criteria are met (you need to have at least 6 posts in any sub forum).

    One more important message - Do not answer to people pretending to be from xnxx team or a member of the staff. If the email is not from [email protected] or the message on the forum is not from StanleyOG it's not an admin or member of the staff. Please be carefull who you give your information to.


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

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  2. Hello,


    You can now get verified on forum.

    The way it's gonna work is that you can send me a PM with a verification picture. The picture has to contain you and forum name on piece of paper or on your body and your username or my username instead of the website name, if you prefer that.

    I need to be able to recognize you in that picture. You need to have some pictures of your self in your gallery so I can compare that picture.

    Please note that verification is completely optional and it won't give you any extra features or access. You will have a check mark (as I have now, if you want to look) and verification will only mean that you are who you say you are.

    You may not use a fake pictures for verification. If you try to verify your account with a fake picture or someone else picture, or just spam me with fake pictures, you will get Banned!

    The pictures that you will send me for verification won't be public


    Best regards,

    StanleyOG.

    Dismiss Notice
  1. speakeasy

    speakeasy Advocate

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2007
    Messages:
    21,194
    Anyone read MAD magazine as a kid?
    There was a series called "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"
    For instance: They'd show a cartoon of two cars smashed together and some passerby asking one of the drivers "You have an accident?" then they'd show 3 or 4 sarcastic comebacks.
    Well, today I was in my yard. I was digging a hole about 4ft in diameter and about 3ft deep.
    One the ground next to the hole was an oak tree sapling.
    My next door neighbor had a visitor step out of their garage for a cigarette, looked at me and in all sincerity asked "You planting a tree?"

    I was too shocked by such a stupid question, I just nodded.
    Feel free to reply with your suggested "snappy answer" to that stupid question.
     
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    #1
  2. Valspar

    Valspar porn surfer

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2018
    Messages:
    23,939
    Smoke another cigarette...I'm digging your grave.
     
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    #2
  3. deegenerate

    deegenerate Goddess of Desire

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2018
    Messages:
    62,004
    I would have said, "I just dug it up. I hope it fits in my car!"
     
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    #3
  4. KinkyGuy1999

    KinkyGuy1999 Porn Star

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2018
    Messages:
    6,288
    • Like Like x 2
    #4
  5. Valspar

    Valspar porn surfer

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2018
    Messages:
    23,939
    I know this gas line is buried around here somewhere.
     
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    #5
  6. KinkyGuy1999

    KinkyGuy1999 Porn Star

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2018
    Messages:
    6,288
    What, me worry!
     
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    #6
  7. MacDaddyDiesel

    MacDaddyDiesel Porn Star

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2019
    Messages:
    1,727
    “No but I’m digging your wife!”
     
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    #7
  8. freethinker

    freethinker Pervy Bear

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2009
    Messages:
    31,322
    I'm burying my wife.
     
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    #8
  9. Rixer

    Rixer Horndog

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    28,938
    No, I'm hunting for gophers.
     
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    #9
  10. Valspar

    Valspar porn surfer

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2018
    Messages:
    23,939
    I'm digging for worms and using this sapling as a fishing pole.
     
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    #10
  11. Jh2

    Jh2 Porn Star

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2019
    Messages:
    5,433
    Nope landmines
     
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    #11
  12. Ficxa 479

    Ficxa 479 Porn Star

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2016
    Messages:
    13,936
    I say,, We ll know after autopsy. Or autopsy will show it.
     
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    #12
  13. tenguy

    tenguy Reasoned voice of XNXX

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
    Messages:
    55,086
    Tree? What tree?
     
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    #13
  14. aesopstails

    aesopstails Ridiculously Happy

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    21,710
    I would have angrily thrown my shovel aside, thrown my hands up with exaggerated exasperation, and yelled at him "Not any more, Asshole... thanks for ruining the surprise!", then stomped off into my house.
     
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    #14
  15. deleted user 555 768

    deleted user 555 768 Porn Star Banned!

    Joined:
    May 9, 2014
    Messages:
    75,527
    You got your chocolate in my peanut butter...

    No, you got your peanut butter on my chocolate
     
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    #15
  16. Cherrypop

    Cherrypop Wicked Kitten

    Joined:
    May 29, 2019
    Messages:
    47,627
    I’m digging a pool. I just wanted the tree to watch
     
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    #16
  17. shootersa

    shootersa Frisky Feline

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    81,246
    Shooter once walked into a golf shop and the owner asked "looking for some clubs?"

    The filter was off that day. Shooter quipped "actually, I was looking for bowling ball".
     
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    #17
  18. dikmac22

    dikmac22 Sex Machine

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2020
    Messages:
    939
    Huh? Who me? What? You look as if you got the Coh-Veid?
     
    #18
  19. hilltoperxyz169

    hilltoperxyz169 Sex Machine

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2019
    Messages:
    868
    I like the one were the Husband was rubbing his wife leg there were married for many years the Wife said boy after all these years he still finds me Sexy so the Husband starts low on her legs and works his hands a little higher then he stops the Wife tell its ok honey feels good why did you stop he tell her oh i found the remote lol
     
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    #19
  20. overdoneone

    overdoneone Porn Star

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    62,383
    No! There's a big pile of dirt in the back yard and my dad told me to get rid of it...so I'm going to bury it in this hole.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    #20