It seems to me that most people on here who claim to have been or are in an open relationship their stories start " my ex and I did...". I am wondering if there is a true open relationship that has stood the test of time?

By the Test of Time I am talking about a relationship that has not ended because someone has passed away and you have been together more then 20 years.

We have been married almost 45 years and do not have an open relationship, and have done many things sexual and learned how to give and receive pleasure that many on here would say are kinky without involving others.

So we have two questions to for you wonderful people, if you are in an open relationship how do you keep the relationship strong or can it not last? If not in an open relationship, what do you do to keep your sex life going? ( You can read some of the things we have done by checking out our past posts. )

 

I know someone who describes herself as Poly and has had what appears to be a very strong relationship for many many years with her partners. I had an open relationship but that didnt last and the reasons are complex and involved

I think keeping things alive sexually doesnt have to mean involving others it does mean involving your partner and I think a lot of people somehow forget that

 

My wife and I have been married nearly 20yrs now. 18 of that has been in an open marriage. I told her before we started dating seriously that I could never be monogamous. She appreciated the honesty and asked that I never lie or hide anything from her. We've been in the swinging lifestyle. I've had other steady girlfriends. And now I play outside the marriage solo. Life has changed for us over our marriage. No matter the changes, we are still in love with each other. More importantly, and this is key, we are committed to each other. In order to keep a marriage in an open relationship both partners MUST accept the commitment of the marriage and vow never to break up the marriage. Otherwise, your just bed partners until the next partner you desire comes along. This is a truth for all marriages really.

 

We've been married for 34 years , and been in a "Open marriage" for about 20 years !
And has @Kondicas said " Communication" is the key ! No secrets !

 

I agree with @newlicker2 and @Kondicas about communication. My partner and I made a concerted effort at the start of our relationship to be open and honest about our feelings, likes and what our limits are. We share a lot of kinks but there are still stuff that wont fly and in those instances it is about compromise or acceptance that somethings simply will not happen, it doesn't stop us finding other stuff or having incredible sex.

My GF has a higher sex drive and enjoys masturbation as a part of that. I try and make space for her so she can have alone time not just so she can play with her self but I believe giving pace in a relationsip is important in any case

Being honest really is key. Being able to talk openly about your sex life not only heals but bonds. Jealousy and not saying how one actually feels eats away a relationship.

 

Our marriage is going on 30 years now and from the beginning, it's been a open marriage, we both are totally free to enjoy ourselves with anybody we want, I love to be with women and younger men, and he loves his gay men and absolutely loves to get pegged by women and Asian women

 

Part of it might be a sampling bias. I feel like most stories here - of any kind - are about exes because most people have more exes than they do current partners. But I don't doubt it's caused serious problems in many relationships.

 

You quantified "test of time" as being 20+ years.
Most non-open marriages don't last 20+ years anymore so even if an open marriage falls apart, it doesn't automatically mean that the extramarital activities were the cause.
If either of us ever decides we want to go back to being monogamous, we'll remain a couple.

 

IMO the whole point of an open marriage is for a more active sex life. Sure one can have a particular relationship that can lasts for years. But its about enjoying an active sex life, despite being in a committed relationship with a SO.

 

Communication, trust and honesty!

thinskin

 

Husband and I have been together for 16 years. From the beginning we always played with others together. Lately he's only wanting to have sex with me, but understands that I am much much more kinky than he is, so I'm still allowed to go and met others for play, travel for sex, and spend a few days with a bud getting my ass plowed.

 

The test of time (in my opinion) is when you stop counting though you celebrate anniversaries based on tradition. As far as keeping sex alive you have to be able to adapt, going into it realizing that times will change for the better and worst (its in the vows for a reason). The issue for some is that despite all the kinks and curiosities you can add or subtract from the original versions of sex, it's the same person that you come home to that has to be the reason for it all. Lose that and it fails!

My wife within over a year of waiting to be intimate started changing in desire 8 months in to our marriage and allowed me 3 trespasses that led to a Pavlov's dog response and a dozen mistresses over 10 years. Though I don't advise this method, given it caused many problems nonetheless we're still together over 37 years later for a reason? We never lost love or gave up on the original design to be together forever.

 

I was unhappily married twice before my current relationship and had tried to fit into society’s expectations of monogamy in marriage. I was absolutely miserable and hated the deception when I did step out. I decided I’d rather be single than to not live true to myself. I started my current relationship by being 100% honest and direct about my needs as was she. We have been together 11 years now and they have been the happiest of my life. And one of the main reasons is that I have all of the good things of a committed relationship but very few of the limitations. We both agree that we don’t know anyone with a better relationship. There are other factors that make it so but the honesty and freedom are a big part of why I feel that way.

 

Well, I'm in a relationship with two women. We're a throuple but we also have tons of sex with a lot of different people. So, were in an open throple relationship. We don't just have tons of sex with other people. We have tons of sex with each other and we have sex with other people as well as with each other. We may fuck other people, but we always put the three of us, our relationship first. We love each other. We trust each other with our lives as we can talk to each other about anything. We always have a mutual respect and understanding of each other. And, the three of us always put each other first before anyone else and we always think about each other and how were feeling. So, we may fuck other people, but we are still primarily loving, caring and respect our throple relationship. We all love sex too much to just not have it with anyone else other than with each other. But, it can't become a huge issue between us. So, we all have a mutual understanding of our open throuple relationship.

And, I'm proud and very happy to say that our relationship is still going strong and has gotten even stronger since the three of us had moved into a nice, big house. Plus, they always double team me every single day at home with any of their strapons from their unusually large collection of sex toys. I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship. I love JessiKa and I love Serana. They're my world and I wouldn't change anything about them. I love them.

The first picture is JessiKa Harley, the second picture is her after she's had plastic surgery. The third picture is Serana. They're both very beautiful women who have such big hearts and beautiful souls.